Thoughts During First Flight Out

So you all can be with me on this journey, here is what I "journaled" in my ipod as I was flying through the air during my first flight from Dallas to D.C.

"I'm up in the air. Finally. On my way to Africa. Sitting next to a nice Indian man, can't remember his name, but he's very nice. I am now listening to my iPod and the first song I chose to play is called "Every Nation." I call it my victory song. The only line it repeats the whole song is, "Every tribe and every tongue, every language, everyone will worship!" What a beautiful hope I can cling to as I sit on this plane with myself and with my Lord.
I've been waiting for this exact moment for a year now since I first began emailing people and working out the details. As I would drive around town I would always look out my window up at the clouds and try my hardest to see the top of them knowing that soon I would be up above them. And now, I'm finally here. Looking out my window. there is nothing more beautiful than the tops of these clouds. How can anyone look out an airplane window and not believe in our big God?

And a few minutes later, all I could do was pray. This was my prayer:

Father, I need you. I need you deeply. I am so weak and I know I have not been preparing myself spiritually for this trip. Lord, I don't even know what to pray right now. I need your Spirit to intercede for me. I need you to prepare me.
Lord, you are my guide. You are my strength. You are my comforter. You are my joy. And Lord, you are those things to me because you are direction. You are strong. You are comfort. And you are joy.
Father, I've been waiting for this moment because I knew it would make me be completely dependent on you. And now, it's finally here. I am so completely dependent on you. There is absolutely nothing I can do on my own these next 2 months. I thank you and I praise you that you are sufficient in my weakness. I thank you that I never have to fear. I thank you for your provision. And more than anything, I thank you that you have allowed me to be your child. Because apart from you I am nothing. I can do nothing. I thank you that I can boast in you alone. I praise you because you are going to receive all the glory for every detail of this trip. Because Jordan Buettemeyer can't do this on her own. Jordan couldn't have even put a foot on this plane if it were by her own strength. And Jordan never would have, in her wildest dreams, dreamed she would go to Africa. Especially "by herself."
But I'm not by myself. I am with You. You are with me. You are in me. And you have made me brave. I rejoice in you and you alone. I love you.
Father, glorify your name!!!!

Thanks for joining me in prayer on this journey!!

As for now, I'm very hungry so I'm going to venture through the airport to find some expensive yum yums :)

Another Old Journal Entry

Ok, so I just did a little more digging and found another journal entry in a different journal. It was either on January 4th or 5th of 2007. Why I wrote in two different journals about the same thing on the same day? I don't know. But I want to share, and I pray this is an encouragement to all who read this.

"January 4, 2007 - God's undeniable call on my life for missions.

BE QUIET NOW, AND WAIT.

Isaiah 26:8-9 Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.

I have said "YES, LORD" to God's calling on my life to do missions. I have no idea where, when, or how I am going, and this scares me to death. But I know I am going with Jesus Christ. So now, I wait. I wait for God to reveal to me where, when, and how. I feel so unqualified for this. But I know God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called.

BE MY ALL CONSUMING FIRE.

Consume - to destroy (as by fire); to waste or burn away.

I desperately need God to come in and destroy my life. So much of me doesn't want to answer this calling on my life because I have so many fears. I am so scared. I don't know why you have called me.

I will serve you. I will give you everything. I will trust you, trust in you alone.

God, I am fighting a spiritual battle right now. I know I need to trust you, but Satan is trying to take hold of me. God, burn away my fears. Destroy my desires. Waste my life on you. Come and consume me."

It's strange to say it, but these journal entries I wrote three and a half years ago have become such a blessing to me. To see the definite questions and fears and my obvious desire to not go, and to see how the Lord has changed all of that... Wow. My God is incredible and indescribable.

If He can transform an unwilling, scared-to-death, little girl like me into someone fearless, with a passionate desire for the nations... I am certain He can transform anyone.

He can transform you.

And I don't say that to boast of myself. I say that because it points completely to my God. He has made me fearless. He has given me a passionate desire for the nations.

In my previous post about Stephen, God revealed to me how Stephen's tag lines pointed directly to Him. And it became my prayer that I would have a tag line that points directly to Him. On my own, I am "Jordan, timid, weak and unwilling..." But now, with my great God, and by the power of the Holy Spirit living inside me, I fully believe I am now, "Jordan, fearless, strong, and willing to follow wherever God leads..." That is a tag line that boasts of the awesomeness of God. Oh I pray that Jordan disappears in light of His power and of His greatness.

I feel 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 is a perfect place to end...

Paul, speaking of the thorn in his flesh, said,
"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Looking Back

This evening, I can't get Africa off my mind. I can't get missions off my mind. I can't get the nations off my mind!

I started reading "The Missionary Call," and what I have read so far simply has defined the term "missionary call." We use the term so freely in churches and conferences, but the term never really gets defined. Here's the definition Mr. M. David Sills offers us:

"The missionary call includes an awareness of the needs of a lost world, the commands of Christ, a concern for the lost, a radical commitment to God, your church's affirmation, blessing and commissioning, a passionate desire, the Spirit's gifting, and an indescribable yearning that motivates beyond all understanding."

This got me to thinking. I began thinking back to when I first sensed God's calling on my life to missions. And then I remembered that I wrote something in my journal about it. So, I did a little digging, found my old journal from my freshman year of college, flipped through the pages, and stumbled upon this entry from January 5, 2007...

"As of January 4, 2007, God has made one thing very clear to me. I have an undeniable calling on my life to do missions. He has worked on my heart this past week and he physically took over my body and made me stand up as a symbolic way of answering His call at Passion '07. PRAISE GOD! It was nothing in or of me that made me stand up. It was purely the Holy Spirit. And at this moment, I have no idea where, when, or how I am going. But I do know that I have said "yes Lord" and that where, when and how I go won't matter because I know I will be with Jesus Christ."

I literally remember this exact moment. I remember exactly where I was sitting in the Georgia World Congress Center. I was near the front of my section of the bleachers. Louie Giglio was speaking and said something along the lines of, "If you are sensing God's call to missions, stand up," in many more or less words. All I know is, I stood up. Instantly, these thoughts were racing through my head...

"Oh crap, what did I just do?"

"Why am I standing?"

"Woops, I think I stood for the wrong thing."

"Oh no, I think I need to sit down."

"I'm so confused. I really need to sit down."

But... I kept standing. Then Louie asked the people around us to touch anyone nearby who was standing and begin to pray over them. I remember someone grabbing my ankle. I don't remember who, I just remember the touch. I tell you all these details to let you know how vivid and how real this moment was.

I am so thankful for that day. I am so thankful the Lord literally took over my weak legs and caused me to stand. I am so thankful for the 1.5.07 journal entry. I am so thankful for the questions that filled my mind. And I am so thankful for how the Lord has been at work in my life these past 3 years since then and has perfectly orchestrated every single step leading up to this very moment, and leading up to what is about to take place in the next 5 days.

Those questions that once filled my mind - the where, when and how - have now clearly been answered.

I am so thankful to be able to say:

I am going where? To Niamey, Niger in West Africa.
When? In 5 days, for 2 months.
How? My great God has provided and my trip is fully funded.

And I am so privileged to be going with my one and only, Jesus Christ.